Work Hard – Set High Standards BUT Forgive Yourself. When You Make Mistakes or Fail – Learn and Keep Trying
In moments of struggle, when the weight of self-doubt and feelings of failure seem overwhelming, it can be easy to lose sight of your potential and why you started a particular journey towards a long term goal. However, overcoming these challenges is not only possible but also the ideal opportunity for true growth. Below are practical strategies to help you keep moving forward, developing discipline, nurturing resilience, and redefining your relationship with setbacks. We all have them, so get better at moving on when they occur.
Self-Doubt - Did I Work Hard Enough?
First, acknowledge your self-doubt as a natural part of the human experience. Everyone encounters moments of uncertainty. There will be a time in your journey when you do not have time to get faster, stronger, or smarter; all you can do is focus and get tougher, and get through what is in front of you. If failure occurs, these are also opportunities to learn from and become smarter with future events. Remembering WHY you got started in the first place is often enough to help you get through a challenging event. Also, reflecting on past successes, no matter how small, can provide a much-needed boost to your self-esteem and help you reframe challenges as opportunities to test your will.
When the road forward seems cold, dark, lonely, and steep, now is the time to dig deep, get tougher, and move forward. That is the key to your success.
Often, the last thing I tell people who are about to start Navy SEAL hell week is the following: You are ready - now you do not have time to get bigger, faster, stronger, but you can get tougher. Just get to the next meal. Every six hours, you get to stop, refuel, and rest. Take full advantage of these refueling moments not only for physical sustenance (food, water, salts), but for mental refocus. You will be tested at some point and it is critical to remember WHY you started this journey in the first place. Be a good team player and help others remember these points.
Setting high standards is a commendable goal, but you are not going to win everything. You will have good days and bad days. Perfectionism can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy and imposter syndrome. Instead of striving for unattainable ideals, aim for excellence. This means accepting that mistakes (and failing) are part of the process. Setting high, ever-progressing, and achievable standards creates a more sustainable path that allows for growth. Break your goals into smaller, actionable steps, and celebrate every achievement. This practice reinforces a sense of accomplishment and combats self-doubt. It is not uncommon to see highly talented people attempt challenging programs like SEAL training and medical school and attend demanding learning institutions and not be able to handle the inevitable failures and setbacks BECAUSE they have never experienced failure before nor had to work hard to excel at anything.
Some of my favorite quotes on failing:
- "Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be." - John Wooden
- "Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly." - R.F. Kennedy
- "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." - Edison
- "The difference between average people and achieving people is their perception of and response to failure." - John C. Maxwell
- "Failure is success in progress." - Albert Einstein
We Are Human and Make Mistakes - Be Kind To Yourself and Don't Dwell on It
When facing tough times, forgiveness is key. It’s easy to be critical of yourself when things don’t go as planned, but self-compassion is an antidote to failure. Understand that everyone makes mistakes; it’s part of being human. Recognizing what you can learn from your experiences is a way to reframe past failures so you do not dwell and waste one thought on the negative. Acknowledge your disappointment, and permit yourself to move forward - now smarter to continue the process. Personally, reading Edison's quote on failing does it for me. Finding ways that do not work is a success - not a failure. This keeps your self-confidence high, and you see the fuel to keep on going again.
The very definition of mental toughness (in my opinion) is:
Finding the fuel when the tank is empty.
Deep breathing and exercise are two powerful remedies to help mitigate multiple stressors. Learning to do these activities even when you do not feel like it and when inconvenient is the magic moment to create a more resilient mind and body. These practices help ground you in the present moment, allowing you to break free from cycles of negative thinking of past failures and future anxieties directly linked to your present self-doubt.
Find Your People
Lastly, surround yourself with a supportive network. Sharing your experiences with trusted friends or mentors can provide new perspectives and remind you that you are not alone in your struggles. Engaging in conversations fosters positivity and encouragement. This network can serve as a vital resource, offering insight and reassurance during difficult times. Seeing is believing. Seeing people you know accomplish something difficult takes the impossibility factor out of it and can empower you to do the same.
By implementing these strategies, you can cultivate resilience, maintain motivation, and navigate challenges with a renewed sense of purpose. Embrace the journey, knowing each step forward is a testament to your strength and determination.
Seasonal Tactical Fitness Programs Will Build Optimal Performance and Specifically Address Weaknesses in Each Phase
Consider the long-term training system of the seasonal tactical fitness model as it offers the opportunity never to neglect your weaknesses, helps with flexibility and mobility, and puts you at a level of physical abilities where you are happy with your overall ability to do just about anything. We have a system where the strengths and weaknesses dictate our training. Check it out: What is Seasonal Tactical Fitness Periodization?.
There is More to StewSmithFitness.com Than You May Know
Who is Stew Smith? Coach, Trainer, Author, Podcaster
I'm the former Navy SEAL that special ops candidates go to for books, ebooks and online coaching to prepare themselves to get to and through intense tactical assessment and selection programs and qualify for service in their chosen tactical profession. See More at StewSmithFitness.com
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Dive deeper into Tactical Athlete training and mental toughness by exploring Stew Smith Fitness Programming for the Tactical Athlete online store. Uncover the strategies and techniques elite forces use to push past physical and mental barriers. Visit https://www.stewsmithfitness.com now and equip yourself with the tools for success for many special ops level selection programs in the military and police world.
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Navy SWCC Workout
Army PFT Workout (Prep For Rucking, OPAT, ACFT)
Army Special Forces / Ranger Workout
Army Air Assault School Workout
Army Airborne Workout
Advanced Running Program - Special Ops Supplement Plan
USMC RECON / MarSOC Workout
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The Combat Conditioning Workout
Air Force PJ / CCT Workout Battlefield Airman Prep Course
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The FBI Academy Workout | FBI Workout Vol 2
The DEA Workout
The FLETC Workout - Ace the PEB
The PFT Bible: Pushups, Sit-ups, 1.5 Mile Run
The Fire Fighter Workout - Ace the CPAT
Calisthenics and Cardio
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Tactical Fitness Course - Getting TO the training does not guarantee you get THROUGH the training. Learn about the two phases of tactical fitness you need to develop thoroughly before getting to BUDS. Check out the Online Course - Getting TO and THROUGH Special Ops Selection.
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